I am overwhelmed. My heart hurts. There is nothing I can do to change the things I can’t change. I can pray, I can cry. I wait on the LORD. That’s what I can do.
Lots of things go through my mind when there is something in my life that is painful & is out of my control & it seems to go on & on. I just want to say, “Do you hear me LORD? Don’t you see these hard things? Why won’t you fix it already?”
I have experienced a lot of pain in my life. Long periods of time when I am crying out to God for the sake of someone I love, begging God to bring change. I have seen a lot of change, too. I have seen God change things that I thought could never be possible. It doesn’t make it easy to go through more trials though. My heart aches. When we love people & they are hurting themselves, it hurts us. I’m a fixer. I want to fix it. You can’t fix people though. My place is to love them well & hold them up in prayer. Love hurts. Life hurts.
Sometimes I feel like, “What’s the point?” I have wept & asked God, “Why?” for so many things. I’m sure you, too, have a list maybe, of things you cried out to God about. These things that hurt your heart & you wrestle with.
Here’s what I get from all this, right now, in my current place in life:
God sees the purpose in the process.
What do these struggles cause me to do? I am on my knees, seeking the LORD’s wisdom. I am reading my Bible looking for help, I am humbled & evaluating my life. I am talking to my friends & we are praying together. They are speaking into my life & we are growing together. I am forced to take a look at my faith & ask myself what I really believe (once again). My heart & my head answers, “I still believe!” Now, even deeper in my bones where God has come to comfort me & speak loving words to me. He is much nearer to me when I am in pain. He’s my Daddy & He loves me.
I get away from that in the busyness of life. These struggles – that I wouldn’t sign up for! – bring me back to that precious place, of intimacy with God; fellowship with Jesus.
There is goodness in the struggle. There is purpose in the process.